Turndown Feeling of Heart.


This post is a late post. It only based on what i’ve wrote on phone’s note. I’ll show you what was i write on phone a night before i come back to school, that night, i still watching movies fyi.

I wont put all those notes that i exported so it becomes image file. because i wont ruin my image by looking to my bad handwriting.

Idea note_20140805_215556_01


okay i’ll just continue the paragraph depends on what i really write.

Do you ever heard about that movie? I think that movie was very great.

You know, i rarely cry when i’m watching movie, but now i do crying.

The last time i cried by watching movie was when i watched Hachiko. It has been a pretty long time since i watched Hachiko.

A Beautiful Mind is about a doctoral degree student named John. He was genius in Math. So that he went to the top university in his country.

He is obsessed in Math. But he had a ‘weird’ thing. That is why he didn’t make many friends at university.

After he was getting married, his wife discovered that her husband needs to go to the hospital. And she was right. His husband really sick.

He has a syndrome, i’m not sure too but it’s kind of disease.

He has illusions, so that he has to take some medications.

He quits work.

But for a very long time, his wife never tired to supports him all the time.

Until he back to work and continue solving math problem by ignoring his delusions’ friends.

The movie was made in 2001. So the main cast, Russell, already old now.

He was pretty handsome in that movie.

Even he is four years older than my father.



nb: He received nobel prize in 1994.


Today, i watched 3.5 movies. because i only watched the last one hour of Diary of a Wimpy Kid 3 at three in the morning.

And then i watched Flight Plan after taking breakfast.

Then in the afternoon i watched Indonesian movie named Pintu Terlarang. It has been a long time since the last time i watched indonesian movie, so i decided to watch one.

I watch Pintu Terlarang with my two sisters, sausages, nuggets, and fried eggs i made by myself.

Then after dinner i watched A Beautiful Mind.

It was such a great movie I ever watched so far.


Tomorrow morning i will go back to school.

I can’t imagine how my school life will looks like?

I wonder if there will no free time for me to watch movie that I always have done during the holiday.

There will be also a national examination. I just feeling worry. I don’t know why i’m feeling this way but it does pretty disturbing me. Although I always ignoring this kind of feeling and pretend i dont worry anything. But to be very honest i really am worry.

I wonder is it because i bore high school?

I dont have idea, but i dont have much spirit for passing this last year of high school.

Yes. Sometimes i worry the way too much.

I wanna get job.

I want to get out of here.

Making moneys.

Meet my future husband and family like i’ve always think of.


Until December, my time will be really tight and full.

At first i already letting myself to put all in.

But after i passed a lot of free and spare day, it becomes and turns so hard again.

School everyday.

Something until friday.

course from monday to thursday.

Intensification on Monday and Saturday.


Can you imagine how I am will be very busy?


Could I passed all those things?


I always put myself into panic.

I dont know why,

but it just always happen all the time.

Should i go to psychiatrist like John Nash did?

or should I meet the psychiatrist every after lunch time?


Because i’m not crazy enough.

Perhaps I’m just the way too tired.

And need freetime again.

I’m just not ready for this tight things


I really want to finish high school quickly.


Why didn’t I taking acceleration class like Monic did?


Oh my goodness, Please.

This world is though.



About ys

currently taking law

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